Did That Actually Happen?

I’m sure many of you out there have woken up before, chugged a bottle of Poland Spring and thought to yourself, how did I get home last night? It happens…in fact, you could argue that it’s a pretty normal occurance for someone in their early twenties. Speaking of normal occurances, last night definately was not one of them. Let’s set up the background here: it’s about 12:15am, Paul and I are finishing our pregaming efforts vis-a-vis a lot of Jim Bean and little bit of Coke. Paul of course, the black out that he is, thinks ahead and makes a little “travel pack” of more Jim and Coke for the ride down FDR. Little did I know that I’d be begging him for just a sip the entire way down, only to no avail. Come on now people, my man’s name is BLACK OUT. Do you honestly think someone with that name would ever turn down and/or give away alcohol of any kind? If ya said yes, you clearly have never met Paul. Anyway our new favorite driver, this Ukranian kid with one of them black Lincoln cabs got us from 34th to Ludlow in no time. Plus, my man got this nice DVD player, blastin some crazy ass European techno the entire way. Ahh, Europe how I miss thee – one day I’ll come home to you and never leave! But for now, we too crazy doin it NYC style. Anyway, many thanks to Dimitri and Dane for always lookin out for us and gettin us into the clubs, it’s most appreciated fellas. So last night was Libation for Katie and Lauren’s birthday party, which I must say was pretty hot! Happy Birthday ladies! Some crunk ass kid fell off the booth and through a table last night. That was almost too good to believe. We were laughin, but I helped him up and duke immediately got back up on the booth and started dancin his crazy ass off again. Meanwhile, rest of the night, my drunk ass got a little nervous everytime my foot slipped while I was up on the booth. I could’ve fallen through a table also…can you imagine? Hahaha. I’m sure more than a few of you can. Anyway, we left the club around 4, Joey his roomy Dan (who is a fucker, cause he got a booty call as we were walking back, lucky son of a bitch) and myself were walkin up Ave A when who comes to the rescue? None other than Blackout himself, head stickin out the side of a cab, screamin some crazy wild shit for sure. I knew my chariot had arrived, no doubt. So I say goodnight to the boys, hop in the cab and off we go…well, not exactly. You see, Paul and I are now among an elite group of Manhattanites who can say they’ve actually been pulled over… IN A CAB. Yes, allow me to reiterate the previous statement: Paul and I got pulled over, while in a cab. And you know what’s even sadder? I didn’t even realize it right away. We were just kinda sittin at the light and not movin and then all of the sudden these cops came up on both sides of the cab and started screamin at him. Me and Paul were so shocked that we really didn’t know what to do. Hours later, I’d learn that Joey and Dan saw the cops immediately follow us and throw on his sirens to pull us over…which must’ve been quite an amusing sight. So apparently, our cabbie was really new, like 3 weeks on the job, and didn’t know he was going down a one way street, the WRONG way. Neither did Paul or I, and when the cops asked us if we were stupid because we got into a cab that didnt even know the difference between a one way street, we defended our honor and dignity in all of 2 words: We’re drunk. Well, you would think they’d let us go for free, considering that we got pulled over, right? But no. We still had to pay, but guess what? We didnt have enough money. So Paul’s drunk ass starts stumbling around looking for an ATM, the cops are clearly laughing at both of us, and I’m sittin there thinking to myself, wow this is gonna make a killer freakin story. Eventually, we got a cab, who knew how to navigate through NYC and got us home safely. Then we stuffed our faces with extremely unhealthy food and passed out. Today I woke up, smile on my face, took a glance at the East River from my bed, and thought to myself, did that actually happen last night? It sure did, ladies and gentleman, it sure did!